Name: Alexander Kern

Known Aliases: Zander, Naitsabes Duxberry, Rednaxela, Monkey, Stinkin Mawnkey

Wanted For: 184 counts of disturbing the peace, thousands of counts of copyright infringement on the Cottoneyed Joe Splash Mix, 241 counts of asking questions he already knows the answer to

Name: Aidan "AJ" Mullins

Known Aliases: Aidan Pants, Champ, Peanut, Peanut Butter, Peanut Sauce, Nugget, Pumpkin, Knucklehead, Knuckles

Wanted For: 67 counts petty theft for stealing hearts of women in grocery stores, 17 counts indecent exposure for taking his diaper off, 1173 counts of crawling directly towards the one thing in the room he's not supposed to have

Name: Phil Kern

Known Aliases: mdrockstar79

Wanted For: aiding and abetting the dangerous criminals above

If you have any information that may lead the the capture of these individuals, please leave a comment below. Do not try to apprehend them on your own, they are known to be dangerously cute.


Sarah said...

I am very concerned that boys with that sort of record are on the loose. I think its time to send out the bounty hunters.

jess said...

oh my gosh . . . I live with two of them . . . I do believe I’ve been bamboozled

E said...

Yes, I will testify that they are all guilty of the alleged offenses....and that is why we love them!

Scavia said...

Wait Wait -- we didn't raise our girls to associate with such beasts. What happened!???